Oh the mom life! Can't live with the stress... can't live without it.
One of my most precious accomplishments are my children, being a mother is my life's entire meaning. I can't imagine being 32 and being anywhere else than where I am right now in life; mother of 2 littles, wife to an amazing man. But that's not to say my days don't get crazy and life doesn't get stressful real quick on any given day. But somehow society sometimes has this way about motherhood. Things like yelling at your kids, breaking down from stress and even losing your shit are so taboo in the mom world! And for the life of me I cannot understand why. Do you know how many times I look at moms on Instagram thinking... "wow I can never picture her yelling at her kids, I am such a bad mom!" because truthfully as much as social media is amazing for more than one reasons, it also makes you question your own life and even your sanity at times. Exhibit A: my patience. Jesus fills me with bowls of patience on a daily but there are those moments when it's just out of stock... and not coming back for the day. And last night was one of those nights... I had a really nice 3-day weekend with the kids (Ben was off from school on Friday) but truthfully by the time Sunday night came at around 7:30pm, I was ready to call it quits. I was tired, cranky, in pain (I'm a little ill, nothing serious) and felt like I had so much to do; cleaning is an obsession of mine which causes most of our arguments if I am being real. I just felt like I had to do so much and so little time and all I wanted to do was lay on my bed by 9pm to catch the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don't judge me. Laying on my bed catching up on social media and watching TV on Sunday nights is my guilty pleasure and stress reliever. So when I realized I wasn't going to be able to have that me time I crave so much by the time the week ends, that's when my patience runs short. Yelling here, yelling there, yelling everywhere. I literally have to take moments when I ask my dear God for patience, out loud, while Ben looks at me like I am crazy.
Thankfully I was able to put Ben down to sleep early and my husband took care of Emme. While I was laying in bed I thought of how ungrateful I felt. Here I am in my humble cozy home with my beautiful little family, safe and healthy, yet I am complaining about the daily stresses of this mommy life. So I took a minute or two to pray and apologize to God for my lack of patience but at the same time I was happy to realize it and take a moment to understand why I felt how I felt last night. Being a mom is a 24/7 job and that me time is so important, you need to take that moment for you. It will recharge your batteries and it will give you a little reminder of what truly is important. Remember, it's ok to yell, it's ok to get frustrated, it's normal. To me, it's not normal if you don't feel these things, it's like I would be holding everything in. Realizing your flaws and your strengths is key. For me, I need to get better at time management and I need to try to simplify my life. I put way too many eggs in basket on a daily basis. That's something I am working on.
But honestly ladies, this is something we all struggle with but so little of us even talk about it. For some weird reason, moms don't like to admit to our wrongs, our flaws, our stressful days and even all those times we yelled and felt so guilty right after. But it's life, it's normal. Today I wanted to share my story because I want you to know you are not alone, we all do it. We are not bad moms. We love those little humans more than life itself, I would truly do anything for my children. We are all losing our shit, some just hide it a lot better than others. And if we all shared the reality of motherhood maybe we wouldn't be so hard on ourselves over and over again. I know for me whenever I know another person is going through what I went through, it's like a sense of relieve, like a girl power moment... like that look that you give each other, in other words, it's like a support system. Like "I gotcha girl! I know exactly because I've been there" moment. And there's no better feeling than knowing that you, my fellow superwoman, are not as insane as you thought you were;)
Happy Monday and hope you mommies have a patience filled week, ha! If only!