Wednesday, May 4, 2016

LET'S TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE KIND...

Yesterday I shared a post where the TODAY show, yes the TODAY show shared my article on their Facebook page. It was an article I had written about my experience in becoming a mother. Let me say (write) that again. MY experience in becoming a mother. I was really happy and excited to see my article published under such a well known and respected name. After all, being connected in any way, shape or form to the TODAY show is major goals, if you ask me. 
But then... they showed up, the internet trolls. Yes, I said it: the internet trolls.
You know that gang of moms who think they are too good, too perfect, very organic, very green, very everything they think is motherhood perfection. Yet they are bullies to other mothers... they don't come in peace or to help... they come attacking other mothers for their choices. NO mother is perfect, I repeat no mother is perfect and we all try to do the best we can. So I started to read their comments. And wow, I know the internet is a big black hole... a very big vulnerable space. I mean this is what I do. I share bits of my life with the knowledge that I am putting myself out there for criticism, so I get it. Maybe because it was my first time experiencing this sort of criticism, I don't know, but geez these women are furious about life. They go all in with their opinions. 
They are like a freakin' mom gang.
I will admit, it did put a damper on my parade. And I kept telling myself to just focus on the fact that some people are just that: TROLLS. That some people have nothing better to do than to criticize others, maybe because they are insecure, bored, who knows. They must always have something to say about others and criticize other moms like me who are only trying to do the best they can. 
In the article, I wrote about how my life changed when I had Ben and how motherhood is not all puppies and rainbows. It was my story. My original article was over 800 words, but due to rules and publishing space regulations, I could not hand in more than 500 words. So I had to cut my article by almost half. Obviously this changed the dynamic of the story I was trying to tell. I was also asked to include the product mention, since after all is was a community sponsored by J&J. I read the comments that were written and it annoyed me. Not because these women, (yes most, if not all were women) were talking so much crap about my article... that I was so proud of. I can take the heat, I know that I am open for criticism. But what annoyed me most was the fact that these were not only women, these were moms. Moms! Like me! that know how hard we have it and know how difficult it is to be in our shoes. These "wannabe-perfect-organic-green-natural" moms were saying how stupid my article was; which was about my experience as a mom and they couldn't get passed the fact that this was a Johnson & Johnson's sponsored post. 
If you think my article is dumb and you think that I am a horrible person for working with Johnson & Johnson's, so be it. It is my children, my life, my motherhood story I am telling. Not yours. Cancer causing ingredients are EVERYwhere no matter how much you try to avoid. It's sad. But it's true. There are chemicals in everything. Organic is rarely ever really organic unless you are growing it in your own backyard. No one is perfect, we all want the best for our kids. No mother in their right mind would purposely use a cancer causing products on their kids. I've done my research, I've educated myself, I've spoken to doctors and even to Johnson's and Johnson's about it.
These moms made themselves feel better by critiquing my parenting abilities and my personal story. And then I got pissed... but I didn't address them individually that would take a day and a half... and honestly I don't even know these people and how do they have so much time!?
 It bothered me how they can easily criticize another mom for the choices I make and for how my take on motherhood is. We are supposed to be in this together. Women. Moms. It's like a code... we all know, we've been there but yet, in typical women form, the bitchiness, the "I am too good", "I am better", "I know best" BS always prevails. Now I've had my share of shade from so-called friends and I brush it off and keep smiling, because I don't address bullshit but I felt the need to say something about this because I have the platform to do so. We are women. I am a woman, an imperfect woman, a mother, a daughter, a wife with flaws... just trying to do what is best for me and mine. We need to teach our daughters the beauty in uplifting one another. The beauty in loving one another, sincerely. The beauty in being kind to everyone because no one knows the other person's battles. It's so easy to be just be kind. And I'm not saying I expected everyone to agree with me or hit the love button on my post, no. I am saying let's give heartfelt advice, let's give constructive criticism, if you have a platform to say something say it, but try to inspire, try to help and make someone feel better. That was my motive for the article I wrote. I wanted to make other moms feel that they can relate to the crazy world of being a new mom. I wanted to say "hey I get it, I've been there, it isn't all baby bliss". My goal was to say: hey we are in this together! Why fill space on the internet with negative bs. If you don't agree with something, simply keep it moving, don't read it, don't look at it. And keep smiling. Don't waste your precious time in this world spewing hate. 
Let's lift each other up, let's crown ourselves and other women who deserve to be crowned. You don't know anyone's battles. Be kind. Spread love. Inspire. 
The fact of the matter is that my work was published and no, no, no not just published, I was personally ASKED to write for the TODAY show. And that makes me feel proud of myself. I crown myself for that accomplishment. I take all that negative feedback and wrap it up in love and pride. I want to teach my children to feel proud of themselves and their accomplishment, to take no ones bullshit and to always, always be kind. 
Because that will always lift you higher. 
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