Friday, April 17, 2015

HONESTLY BEING A MOM | HOW I DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER

{this picture is from when Emme was 1 week old}
Recently I have been receiving a lot of emails from the sweetest readers asking me how "I keep it all together" or how do I "do it all". So I wanted to put this post together for all those mommies out there that think that what you see on Instagram is 100% reality, those moments are real... but that is just about 20% of my life. 
Motherhood is not easy and unfortunately women don't like to admit this. Which leaves just about every other mom feeling like she is doing something wrong, when in reality we are all going through the same ups and downs. We just don't post the bad moments because we rather remember the amazing ones.
Being a mother is the most rewarding and loving job in the world. I have never been this happy. Ever. But the truth is that it is hard guys, it is very hard. But for some reason there is some sort of stigma if you admit that well you don't have it all together. And I am here to tell you that it isn't easy. But it is so very well worth it. I would do it over and over again. The good and the bad. Because my kids make me smile like no one else can and they made life worth living every second of the day.
Every day is a new challenge and a  memory made. It's like you get the best of both worlds... great-amazing-fantastic-unforgettable days with the true loves of your life. But you also have some hard-exhausting-frustrating and emotional days. But that is all part of it. Part of being a woman and a mother. I know that I wouldn't be able to do what I do if it wasn't for the village that it takes to raise my kids. I have a great support system. My husband and my mother are the most amazing humans I know. They literally strive to make me happy, every single day. My happiness is truly their happiness, they have told me so lol -  all they want is for me to have happy days. But that's not reality. I love them for trying but they also understand that I am an exhausted mom and on occasions a short tempered mom. It took some time to make them understand that while I adore my kids more than anything in the world, there are some days when I just need a moment for myself. Just 5 minutes. And we all do. So they give me those moments. Whether that means watching Modern Family (or shamelessly The Kardashians) alone in my bedroom while my husband watches the kids. Or a run to Target alone, while my mom stays with the kids... they give me that "me" time that keeps me sane.
The best advice I can give is to try to have those moments, those ME moments. Not just as a mom but as a human, we need those alone moments. So if you can, go for a walk, or to Target, my preferred and favorite place. If a book makes you happy, read a couple of pages at Starbucks alone. It does get easier and your body does get used to the middle of the night feedings. The pajamas eventually come off too (believe it or not!) and the days get brighter and everything does fall into place. So hang in there. We are all going thought the same struggle.
In between all the chaos and all the spit up and the poop - just take a breather. I forget sometimes how fast these good and bad moments go by. I hold my babygirl all day and anytime I can. And yes she is spoiled, she loves to be held. But it's ok, I don't listen to those who tell me not to "spoil" her by holding her "too much" whatever that means. I just know these moments are going to go by so fast, and I am going to want them back and so I just enjoy it. The same with my son, I did the exact thing with him and now I am so glad I took in all those snuggles and all those moments alone with him. He is going to be 4 this summer, F O U R. And now it is easier and he is so independent it definitely makes me miss his baby days. But it is all part of this crazy, beautiful motherhood journey.
This turned into such a long post. But I wanted to take the time to let you all know that I don't have it all together as it may seem on Instagram. I struggle, I cry, I get frustrated but at the end of the day I feel blessed and happy to have two amazing healthy kids, a loving caring mom and a sweet loving and supportive husband. I wouldn't be able to blog and work on all this if it wasn't for their help and their love for me and their eagerness to make me:
simply H A P P Y.
That is how I do it; I do it with their love and support and a lot of passion and prayers!
Thank you so much for all your support and love, I appreciate it tons.
xo, 
E.

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