Thursday, May 8, 2014

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BEN'S MOM


Mother's Day is only 3 days away and though I originally was going to make this the usual outfit post, these pictures turned out way sweeter and I got all emotional looking through them and so I decided to talk about what it means to me to be Ben's mom. 
As a first time mom I have had my share of mistakes and breakdowns and I am still learning. But I can tell you this much, nothing in the world could have ever prepared me for the intense love I feel for my child. I truly feel like I am a lioness and he is my cub. I am a protector and I would do anything for my little boy. This is the most difficult job in the world but nothing is more rewarding than raising my child and watching him become a happy, healthy and smart little human being. If you've ever talked to an honest mom... there are days when you just want to pull your hair out and scream, heck, even run out of the house! ...your patience level expands in ways you never thought possible. The sleepless nights...and achy heart when they are sick. The days when you are worried sick over the smallest of things just because you want nothing to ever happen or affect your child. There has been nights where I have prayed so hard to God to keep my baby safe and happy. It is hard, ladies. Because it is the biggest most selfless LOVE. There have been moments when I truly wish I could keep Ben in a little glass box and just keep him in my pocket forever. Because he is my biggest accomplishment, by best creation and simply my biggest little love. The love from a mother to her child is unmeasurable... it is undefined. Nothing compares to being a mom.
From the day he was born there has been nothing more important than making him happy and keeping him healthy. Watching him grow is a privilege that I often remind myself not to take for granted. Memories from his early days often pop into my mind and I can't help but feel nostalgic, even as I write this. Because I know one day I will be looking back wondering where time went. And I still have those moments now... where I want to freeze the moment and breath it all in. From the first time he said "mama" to the days he says to me "mama you are soooo pretty!" or "give me a huuug!" (for no apparent reason) he melts my heart like no other. Seeing him develop into a funny and happy boy and even when he is cranky and shy, all of those moments fill me with joy, they make my world go round. 
All I want for my son is for him to be HAPPY. I want him to be... 
passionate
an innovator
a gentleman
thoughtful and loving to his wife
loving and caring to animals
sweet and affectionate to the elderly
to travel and know the world and other cultures
an important part of this world, I want him to leave his mark on everyone he meets, just like he has with me.
I want him to be like his father. God has blessed me with the most selfless, loving, patient and caring husband. Ben is who he is today not just because of his mother's love and affection. My son is who he is because of the amazing father he was blessed with. He has the honor of having a father that no matter how tired he is he still plays with Ben for hours on end. That even on his cranky days has the patience of the world with Ben. A father who cares about nothing but our happiness and protects us and loves us like no one else ever could. And this makes me the happiest mom in the world. I may not be rich in finances... but I am extremely wealthy in what is most important in the world: LOVE. Because when you sit back and look around, no house, no car, no career  will ever give you the love and happiness we all long for. If you ask a bunch of different people what they all really want... I can guarantee most will admit to just being HAPPY. I am blessed to be HAPPY and in LOVE with my boys.  
Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing women in my life but especially to my mother. The reason behind the person I am today... and the reason I am the mother that I am to Ben. I love you mom. 





Ben is wearing
Sunnies: GapKids | Top: Ted by Ted Baker | Jeans: FabKids | Shoes: Converse


Sunnies: c/o Lulu's | Sweater, Sandals + Jeans: Forever 21


xo,
E.

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